The lyrics for Infinity struck me suddenly as I drove home from the hospital. My dad had looked especially forlorn when I’d visited him earlier that day. I couldn’t help but wonder what he must be feeling, thinking, and how he would be processing all that was going on. He knew he was dying, he never really said it out loud, none of us did we just carried on, stayed by his side and tried to hold it all together.
During our customary morning coffee dad had told me he was having nightmares and strange things were appearing to him at night. I had read up on this type of thing before. I had been researching cancer and the dying process ever since the diagnosis. Any material I could find, I read it. I wanted to have the knowledge to provide him with as many answers as the doctors. Various articles had indicated that patients often described strange dreams involving deceased loved ones and extremely odd visions during the night that ranged from psychedelic and euphoric to down right comical or frightening. It was all part of the process.
In any case, I could only imagine what my dad was feeling, staring up at that hospital ceiling in the middle of the night, talking to the universe. As I drove home later that evening, I recalled the conversation with dad and the reality of death. I thought about my love for him and the supernatural way life seemed to occur, despite all the science in the world. I thought about the random pointing finger of illness. The way everything just changes, without a moments notice altered, forever. I thought about the finite way it all seemed to manifest in the physical world and all I wanted to do was reject it -all of it. The word Infinity kept repeating over in my head and I found myself singing it out loud in the same melody I would find myself recording the song 12 months later. Each time I sang it out loud another line would flow out from my lips right behind it. I always tell people that a good song writes itself and as the thoughts of my dad raced on in my head and tears rolled down my face I found lyric after lyric.
You can purchase ‘Infinity’ on iTunes now.